Earlier this season, the Philadelphia Eagles’ right tackle Lane Johnson missed three games due to what the team had said was a “personal matter.” After weeks of wondering, Johnson returned to the field and revealed his absence was due to an ongoing battle with anxiety and depression.
“The first game against Atlanta, I told my mom … ‘Something’s really, really wrong with me. I don’t know exactly what it is.’ I said, ‘I’m miserable. I know my mind isn’t right. I know my body isn’t right.’ So, I left [the Eagles]. I went back home. I didn’t have any communication with the Eagles,” said Johnson.
Prior to the Eagles Sunday afternoon game against the Eagles, Johnson spoke about the disabling repercussions anxiety and depression have had on him in an interview with Fox Sports’ Jay Glazer. He was first diagnosed with an anxiety disorder while he was playing football for Oklahoma in college. He spoke to no longer being able to push his illnesses to the side.
“You need to talk about it, but yeah, man, I was living in hell for a long time. I thought achievements, what I’ve done on the field was going to make me feel better, but it only amplified the situation. I’m glad I’m here talking about it, being open about it.” Johson told Glazer.
Johnson spoke about the awful side effects he started experiencing daily. He was throwing up every day, things got so bad he started to throw up blood. His nerves were at an all-time high and he had extreme tremors in his hands. He recognizes there’s medications that can help, but nobody can mask everything.
When Johnson was asked why it has taken him so long to say anything, he was blatantly honest.
“I felt like I had my stuff temporarily under control. I was ashamed, to be honest. In this league, in the NFL, where it’s a gladiator-type sport, it’s something not often talked about, but it’s often felt,” explained Johson.
This isn’t the first time the Eagles have had players open up about mental health in the professional sports world. Eagles guard Brandon Brooks was out for a decent period of time a few years ago due to his own battle with anxiety.
Lane Johnson had lost his sense of self while searching for his “why,” and while coming out publicly about his own struggles, he found it.
If anxiety and depression can devastate a 6-foot-6, 325-pound man, who is seemingly invincible, then it can affect anyone. Johson returned to Philadelphia prior to their game against Las Vegas and has been back starting at right tackle ever since.
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