If Lars Nootbaar continues to hit the way he’s been hitting, then he’ll have his own candy bar before long.
The young outfielder has captured the hearts of Cardinals fans, who now chant “Nooooot” whenever he comes to the plate. He’s even found his way into the meme world, with his head being photoshopped onto Owen Lars from Star Wars.
But back to the candy bar. Of course, we all know what it’s going to be called, that being the Lars Nootbaar. It begs the question; what would the ingredients of this one of a kind candy bar?
For starters, we would most likely have chocolate. But is this the type of bar that could have multiple flavors? Perhaps we could have an Oreo version. Maybe one with caramel or white chocolate, or even a chocolate swirl on top.
Now, let’s get to the most important ingredient; the “Noots.” That may be hard, considering that there’s no such thing as a “Noot.” The closest thing to it would be the amphibious creatures known as newts, but you can’t really put that in a candy bar, for obvious reasons.
The next closest thing would be some form of nut. It could be pecans, hazelnuts, cashews, pistachios, walnuts, almonds, or even peanuts. Little shreds of peanuts would probably make the most sense, given that whole bags of them are sold in every ballpark.
Then you can add in the other flavors and boom. You’ve got your Lars “Nootbaar.” Now the only question is, who makes it? Is it manufactured in a factory, or are other forces at work?
The latter could be possible. We know from 2018, when Matt Carpenter went on his tear, he had the help of his special salsa, which came to be all thanks to Adam Wainwright sneaking into his backyard and planting tomatoes. Perhaps Wainwright has another trick up his sleeve for food. Not that you can plant it in a garden, but maybe the veteran right-hander has his own tools to create chocolate candy bars.
Regardless of where it comes from, it would taste amazing. All we need now is for Nootbaar to continue racking up hits, further endearing himself to the St. Louis faithful.
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